When It’s Hardest to Pray, Pray the Hardest

But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.  Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and God’s provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance. I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. (Philippians 1:18-20 NIV)

I love those days when God speaks so clearly and vividly. And, having two of them back to back nearly blows my socks off.

While driving home from church today, I saw the phrase “When It’s Hardest to Pray, Pray the Hardest” on a church marquee. Sadly, my first thought was of the really difficult times where I can hardly sputter out the words in prayer and sometimes just resolving myself to simply knowing “that God knows” because the words won’t come out.

But, with two red-letter days back to back, I now understand that “hardest to pray” can also mean when God has so blown us away with His presence that we truly don’t know what to say except, “Wow, Abba Father. Thank you!!!” It can also mean whether I am praying for myself or praying for others, in good times or in painful times.

The scripture above from Paul in his letter to Philippians helps me to understand the concept of “hardest to pray.” He says that, despite his trials, “I will continue to rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and God’s provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance.  I eagerly expect . . . that I will . . . have sufficient courage.” During a very low point for Paul, he said he would continue to rejoice and anticipate having sufficient courage, knowing that the prayers of others would carry him through and set him free.

What encouragement!! We are promised, through prayer, to be able to rejoice, be delivered, be courageous, and be set free. God answers prayer yesterday, today and tomorrow.  And, He’s still answering prayer, even then we don’t know exactly for what we’re praying.

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of attending a Beth Moore conference via simulcast at our church. I’ve been blessed to see her in person before, and I knew God would speak to me. As I was getting ready to leave, I prayed a soft, short prayer that I wouldn’t miss what God wanted me to learn. I also prayed that God would confirm my calling to ministry to encourage others like me who are caring for loved ones with Alzheimers. Working full-time, caring for mom, and not forsaking either my time with the Lord or my family, embarking on a full-scale ministry including writing and speaking is at times rather daunting to me.

A number of years ago, I believed that God wanted me to speak at local churches, sharing my testimony, and sharing messages specific to the church’s needs.  Doubting my calling, while I was driving to the post office to mail out promotional materials, I was also listening to Chuck Swindoll on the radio, preaching about the prophet Amos who being called to ministry. As I was literally driving and praying, “Lord, please let me know if this is really what you want me to do,” I heard Chuck Swindoll SCREAMING over the airwaves to “GO.  SPEAK!!!!”  That little prayer, a tough one for me to pray, brought BIG results.  Long story short, I went on to speak at about a dozen churches, including a message I called “Grace is Greener on God’s Side.”

I take very seriously a prayer for confirmation!

So, yesterday, asking God again to “confirm” and to make sure I don’t miss His calling, left me with much anticipation.

The conference was absolutely amazing, filled with laughter, tears, lessons, and time with God. VERY special. Beth talked about a person’s calling.  I sat up in attention. “Lord, are you speaking to me NOW?”

Nope. Not yet.  It was an all-day conference.

At the end, we were to pair up with another woman, hold hands, and repeat empowerment phrases that Beth told us to say to each other, confirming the six points she made in the conference.  A sweet woman named Bonnie and I were paired up.  The VERY final one was the “God moment.”  She had us say to each other, something like “be brave and find your calling.” We said it to each other; my heart started welling up. Beth then FERVENTLY said, “NOW GO!!!!” Bonnie and I hugged; no words could come out through the gush of tears streaming down my face. God commissioned me, right there at the conference.  I couldn’t pray; I could only cry. But, God knew.

God had led me to pray in the morning with anticipation for deliverance to pursue my calling, and He had now spoken loudly into my soul.  Beth Moore has been a mentor and inspiration for 20 years; I co-taught several of her Bible studies at a former church.  While we never met, God grew my faith through her ministry.  So, to be “commissioned” at one of her conferences was no surprise.

Red-letter banner day number one was now complete.  One down, one to go!

Today, our senior pastor fell ill, asking our senior adult pastor to preach in his place about 40 minutes prior to the start of the service. Pastor Kevin spoke from Mark 10:46-52, a story about Jesus healing Bartimaeus.

Jesus and his disciples arrived in Jericho.  Bartimaeus, a blind man, called out twice, “Have mercy on me!”  Jesus told his disciples, “Call him.”  They went to Bartimaeus and said, “On your feet!  He’s calling you.”  Jesus then asked, “What do you want me to do for you?”  Bartimaeus said, “Rabbi, I want to see.”  Jesus said, “GO!”

In two days, I called out twice for God to reveal His will for me (i.e. have mercy on me).  Jesus was calling me.  I said that I wanted to see His will.  Jesus said, “GO!”

So, even today’s sermon was filled with God’s confirmation.  The littlest of prayers with the biggest of results.

Then, Pastor Kevin discussed how God gives us transforming moments. We can either pause and reflect, or we can go about our day and miss them.

Two days of transforming moments.  Answers to small prayers.

Praising with big prayers, but feeling that my words were far too small for God. When it’s hardest to pray, pray the hardest.  I can rejoice.  My fears have been delivered. I can be courageous to go forward.  He has set me free.

God transforms.  He cares about the details of our lives.

And, sometimes, He just says “GO!”