Mother’s Day 2017, the first one without my sweet mama, was a day that appeared on my dread list ever since June 30, 2016. I was afraid that my emotions would be unable to cope and that collateral damage would be parlayed to my amazing adult sons. In “Cheryl-ese,” I didn’t want to short-change them. I love being their mom, ever since the days I first held each of them. They always deserve my best. But my mama can no longer hold me, and I was, well, scared. I loved, and I grieved. During mid-winter, the grief of my loss consumed me for extended moments–not days, not weeks–but the moments were painful and the world felt broken. How could I walk through the storm of Mother’s Day without the one who first held me? The attached video answers that question.
On March 27, 2017, UNDEFEATED INNOCENCE was first published. The first person who received a copy, even before I got one, was my beautiful niece/daughter Allison. She and I have always been incredibly connected since I first held her. Her grandma was very special to her, and my mom loved her so very deeply. Allison was Mom’s angel.
When Allison received the familiar Amazon box, she called me so we could share the moment together. She shot video of her loving hands holding and opening the book, page by page. As I held back the tears, my love for Mom and for Allison poured out. And I began to experience the heavy weight of grief lifting from my innermost being.
A few weeks later, Pastor Tad asked me to speak from the pulpit on Mother’s Day. The stirring in my spirit was not only the delight in being asked, but it reflected the next phase of releasing the grief that still held captive many moments of my life. Pastor was serving out a portion of God’s purpose to restore me and rescue me from the storm. Pastor read the book and believes in its healing message and asked me if I would speak on Mother’s Day. Many people are hurting on Mother’s Day–the loss of a mom, a daughter, a spouse, or a child, or an inability to have a child, have created a storm of isolation and despair. We knew a message of God’s hope in the storm would be God’s choice for Mother’s Day.
I’ve attached a video of what I shared in church on this first Mother’s Day. I probably learned the biggest lesson of all–that leaning into Jesus and away from grief is honoring for God and my parents and will ultimately lead to release from the grief. I not only “made it” through Mother’s Day, but my spirit was restored and renewed. The message you will hear is one of encouragement and hope in the storms. A hurricane is made of four components: eye, eye wall, spiral rainbands, and the shore. Using an analogy of a hurricane’s composition, I demonstrate that Jesus himself is there to hold back the storm’s harshest fury.
I also teach that restoration to joy in the chaos of Alzheimer’s is only possible when we have peace WITH God, ourselves, others, and the disease itself. God doesn’t promise to give us peace FROM the storms, but He does promise to meet us IN the storm.
June 30, 2017, may be a difficult day for me. But with God’s grace, as I undoubtedly relive the last day I held and kissed the most special woman in my life, the yoke of Jesus will bridle and guide me back to peace. If I reside in the eye, Jesus will protect me from the full fury of sorrow, and He will gently lead me back through the rainbands to the peace of the shore.
It’s a guaranteed promise. One of the worship songs for Mother’s Day include the lyrics, “Troubles vanish. Hearts are mended.”
On this Mother’s Day, my troubles vanished and my heart was mended. May God’s promise to protect us and lead us out of ANY storm encourage you.
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