LINENS AND CHINA AND GOBLETS, OH MY!! — How a formal dinner party brought me to my knees

Hosting a formal dinner party at the ripe old age of 19 shouldn’t be a big deal, right?

I returned home after my freshman year of college to spend the summer with family, friends, and a job. My parents loved weekend camping and told me in advance when they’d be gone. So on a weekend when I knew I’d be “Home Alone,” I decided to throw a formal dinner party. Not just any party, but a formal dinner party for my closest friends.

I sent out invitations and planned the menu. Beef wellington sounded perfect. Well, I hadn’t exactly fixed it before, but it’s easy, right? Just a little meat and puff pastry and throw it in the oven? Au gratin potatoes, French bread, salad, and a decadent dessert rounded out the menu. I even bought each of my guests a corsage or boutonniere.

One of my best friends lived next door; so on the day of the event, I instructed her, “No peeking.” I kept all of the draperies drawn and the doors locked tight. She offered to help, but this was my gift to my special friends.

I pulled out the linens, china, candlesticks, goblets, and silver. Bummer! The silver pieces were tarnished, and I didn’t have time to clean them. Cooking like Julia Child was taking way too much time. So I called my lifetime friend next door, and she agreed to clean the silver—at her house. I had a “no peeking” rule in place.

Venue? The downstairs ping pong table and ten mismatched chairs would be perfect, especially after I removed the ping pong net! I found two large tablecloths that remotely matched, and they almost covered the behemoth table.

I ran upstairs to make sure nothing was burning in the kitchen and raced back downstairs to set the table. The china, silver, goblets, and napkins looked beautiful as I properly arranged them at each setting. A tent card was positioned at each setting. Emily Post would be proud! I nearly dropped the black candlesticks as I stumbled to reach across the Goliath-size table to place them. I checked the clock … only two hours to show time.

Serving pieces? Drat! I needed to find some. I ran upstairs—again—and started looking for the china serving pieces, including the china coffee server and butter dish. I pulled them out, washed them off, and set them aside. The clock was not treating me favorably. I now realized I had only 30 minutes until my guests arrived.

It was a pleasure to serve my friends in a formal dinner. We ate, we laughed, and we hugged. They didn’t all know each other, but it was a special time. After dinner was over, I was exhausted. My mom had no dishwasher, so my friends offered to do clean-up detail. Not only was the special dinner an accomplishment, but doing it all without my mom’s knowledge was a wonderful feeling (i.e. back to that “Home Alone” thing again).

Or so I thought.

My parents returned the next day while I was at work. I got a terse phone call from my mom, and there were expletives used. I didn’t realize that the washed china, cooking pans, and utensils weren’t exactly clean and were put away in the wrong places. I also didn’t know that the china was their expensive wedding china, the linens and silver were fragile family heirlooms, the goblets were crystal, and the candlesticks were delicate black onyx. I also believe I heard the words of, “Don’t you EVER ….” Yep, I thought I’d be grounded for life.

My hope for a milestone gift to my friends, and a learning experience on how to throw a formal dinner party, ended in disappointment and rebuke. Reflecting on the experience now, I contemplate two things.

Preparation. At the time, I believed I adequately prepared for the party. But that paled in comparison to Esther’s preparation before she met King Xerxes. She endured twelve months of beauty treatments with oil of myrrh, perfume, and cosmetics (Esther 2:12 NIV). Her twelve months compared to my seven days? Not even close. My party missed the mark. Do I miss the mark with Jesus? Does God deserve better than merely adequate preparation from me to enter into His presence? Do I practice spiritual disciplines? Acts 2:42 NIV says, “They devoted themselves to teaching, fellowship, the breaking of bread and prayer.” Am I devoted to walk with Jesus? Will God rebuke me if I’m not prepared?

Treasures. I couldn’t recognize that the items I used at the dinner party were precious family heirlooms. I just saw linens, dishes, glasses, flatware, and candlesticks. Can I recognize Jesus? Do I treat Him as ordinary, or as the precious treasure above all treasures? Is His presence richer than the finest china and crystal, more precious than onyx, more shiny than polished silver, and more beautiful than heirloom linens? Jesus is “a chosen and precious cornerstone” (1 Peter 2:6 NIV). Paul wrote, “My goal is that they may know Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures” (Col. 2:2-3 NIV).

Do I daily invite God to feast with me? Do I see Jesus as the One in whom the treasures of wisdom and knowledge reside? Do I daily prepare the feast table on my knees—memorize scripture, meditate, and desire quality time with the One who always loves and never fails? I want to crave my Jesus—the treasure above all treasures—for all the days of eternity with Him.

I also learned not to fix beef wellington again.

©2018 Regifted Grace Ministry LLC

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Cheryl Crofoot Knapp is passionate about using her life experiences to encourage others. She is a caregiving survivor, and a devoted wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, speaker, author, blogger, and Mrs. Minnesota-America 1996. She's the author of UNDEFEATED INNOCENCE, which combines personal and humorous anecdotes with Biblical truths to share with caregivers that God's grace is always sufficient. She encourages readers to find passionate patience, look for life's collateral beauty, and recognize that it's okay to store toothpaste in an underwear drawer.

She was a primary caregiver and life manager for her parents through their battles with Alzheimer's. Caregiving taught her about gains and losses, discovering courage within herself, and the importance of having love and support from those around her. She lost her dad to Alzheimer's in 2010 and her mom to Alzheimer's in 2016. She says, "The dust continues to settle, and the plumb line is set to a new normal."

Cheryl won the 2018 Foundation Award (Article) for her blog post, "Mama I'm So Sorry," at the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference in Ridgecrest, North Carolina.

Her devotions are currently featured on Christian Broadcasting Network (CBN.com). Her column, "Caregivers Corner: Caring for Parents," is featured in Broken But Priceless online quarterly magazine. She enjoys being a periodic guest facilitator at the Mruk Center on Aging's Alzheimer's Dementia Caregiving Support Group meetings. And she was a guest speaker at the "Passionate About Purple Gala" in San Antonio for the Enchanted Hearts Alzheimer's and Dementia Association.

Cheryl and her husband are members of First Baptist Church of Mountain Home (Arkansas). They participate in Walks to End Alzheimer's, and she has served in Bible study, worship, evangelism, and prison ministries. She founded Regifted Grace Ministry and shares her contagious faith at conferences, retreats, banquets, and churches, as well as on television and radio interviews.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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