Others said, “You are blessed.” I was broken.
Others said, “You are strong.” I was scared.
Others said, “You are courageous.” I was cowardly.
Others said, “You are brave.” I was barely standing.
Others said, “You lost much.” I loved much.
Others said, “You gave much.” I received grace.
That pretty much sums up the reality of how I felt as a caregiver and losing both parents to Alzheimer’s, a terminal disease that is painfully brutal, we know how it ends, there is no cure, and it doesn’t get better. I pleaded with God to not allow them to suffer anymore.
And I asked God the question, “Where are you in Alzheimer’s?” I began looking for the answers in scripture and was amazed at what I found.
I found permission to mourn. I found grace. And I began to discover the collateral beauty in Alzheimer’s. Sometimes caregiving got ugly, and sometimes it felt like no one else really understood. But God always understood, and He walked the journey with me.
You are not alone–according to the Alzheimer’s Association 2018 Facts and Figures report, 5.7 million Americans are living with Alzheimer’s, and over 16.1 million caregivers gave 18.4 billion hours of care valued over $232 billion. If you feel broken, stressed, scared, scarred, tear-stained, fear-filled, and weary, I’ve been standing right where you are. And I wasn’t defeated by it. I’m still standing, and a better person because of it.
UNDEFEATED INNOCENCE will help you find hope in difficult circumstances and the grace to get up one day at a time with one foot in front of the other.