My mom told me a secret many years ago that gave me a new level of understanding and compassion towards her. I didn’t think I would ever tell a soul and thought I would take her dirty secret to both our graves.

But there came a turning point in her boxing match with Alzheimer’s when it became time for me to tell others. I chose to tell my sister, who never knew, and I had to tell a doctor and several nurses. Mom’s quality of care depended on me talking about her personal tragedy.

I was shocked when Mom told me. I was shocked by the violation, and I was shocked that she chose me to tell. And I sobbed as I revealed it to others during her last week of life. However, I was blessed to be the one to show her such extreme compassion when Alzheimer’s brought her back to the decade of her defilement.

Mom was my best friend, and I was probably hers. Because she had told me her darkest secret, I understood that caregiving is more than giving–it was truly being a partner with her in her care.

The secret is revealed in my book, UNDEFEATED INNOCENCE, and also during the interview in this post. Click to listen.